2012 reflection

As 2012 comes to a close, I think back to the way I felt at the beginning of the year. I was over weight, unhealthy with a desire to change. I would look at other women and say to myself "I wish I could wake up and look like them" or Why were they born with that body and not me. My knees would hurt if I walked for too long, not to mention out of breath.  I wore a size 22 clothes and they were getting to be too small. I had only a few items that still fit but did not want to buy bigger clothes.

I wanted to hide all the time and I did hide from cameras and wanted to stay in the house and just send my family out to the events we were invited to. I did not want my husband to look at me naked and God knows not naked with the light on!! I felt like he deserved to be with someone else who looked as good as he does. Very low self esteem and low confidence.

I finally decided to change ALL of that!! I did research on having weight loss surgery and decided that no more would I lie to myself and say that I could loose the weight on my own!! I wanted to be healthy for myself and be around longer for my children. I did not want them to be embarrassed to have me come to the school for them. I decided that I deserved to be happy and HEALTHY!! I was tired of taking blood pressure medication and was afraid that Diabetes was not far away!! I had to put aside how I thought others would talk about me for having such a surgery...because guess what??? They were talking about me already because of my weight!!

So I had the gastric bypass surgery and it was one of the BEST things I've done for MYSELF!!! I am no longer on blood pressure meds, I feel better, sleep better, look better and enjoy life A LOT MORE!!! I am aware of everything that goes into my mouth and I make a decision not to hurt myself ever again like I did for sooo many years!

My family was very supportive of my decision and are happy that I am now happier! It is a huge adjustment....it is a LIFESTYLE change and a LIFE LONG commitment to myself. But I feel like I am worth that life long commitment to take better care of myself!

I also went after a promotion at work and got it! My husband got a better job and enjoy what he does. We were truly blessed in 2012. I am even thankful for all the trials that came our way. It made us stronger and drew us closer together. If you can't work with your partner then why have a partner?? I learned that there is a blessing in my testing!! It comes to make you stronger, wiser and better!

I am thankful for the support of my readers. Many or few, I thank you for helping keep me accountable on this weight loss journey!

I pray for peace, blessings and triumph for each of you and your families. I hope you go after every dream and reach every goal you set for yourselves in 2013! Why wait til the beginning of the year to set goals for yourself? EVERY day you wake up is another chance to get it right!!

Happy New Year dolls!